


Memories of You

by AlwaysCryOverSpilledMilk



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Cheating, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, Loss of Virginity, Masturbation, Memories, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 15:43:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9242456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysCryOverSpilledMilk/pseuds/AlwaysCryOverSpilledMilk
Summary: "Jason only wanted to help Percy move on from Luke. Forget, if only for one night. It seems he has succeeded, but that doesn’t make it any better and they both know it.Now, Percy supposes, he’ll have to move on from Jason as well."Jason looks like someone from Percy's past and tries to help him move on in one of the most irrational ways.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even going to pretend I know what drove me to write this.

“Hey.”

Percy doesn’t have to look up from his book to recognize that it was Jason who had entered his room on the Argo II. He doesn’t even want to look up.

“Hi,” Percy replies.

Jason steps further inside. “Did I do something?”

“What do you mean?” Percy feels rude and ill-mannered for avoiding eye-contact during an actual conversation, but his desire to sustain from it is stronger than the faint sense of impropriety.

“Y’know. We hardly talk outside of battles and quests and meetings with the other guys, and you never even look at me anymore. Did I do something to piss you off? You’re my friend, Percy, and if I messed up I’d like to know how so I can fix it.”

“It’s nothing you can fix.”

“Why not?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Percy-”

“It’s none of your business!” Percy yells, his head snapping up and his eyes locking onto Jason’s in the midst of his irritation.

Jason’s gaze is intense, and Percy immediately regrets lifting his head as he feels the inevitable stirring start up in his groin. “Fuck,” Percy breathes out, dropping his gaze. He sees Jason’s feet coming closer to the bed where he sits. “Stop. Stop coming closer.”

Jason kneels down on the bed right in front of Percy and lifts Percy’s chin so that their eyes would meet again. “What’s wrong?”

“Please just go away.”

“Why?” Jason asks, his eyes softening and showing his obvious concern.

Percy tries to look away, but Jason’s gaze is piercing and unrelenting. “I need to be alone now. Please. Oh my God.” Percy is getting more and more thankful for the book he has sitting on his lap.

“Percy, what’s going on? Please, just tell me.”

“I- I can’t.”

“Percy, come on.”

“It’s just- You look so much like him. Your eyes, they’re the same as his…”

“So much like who?”

“Like-” Percy starts before realizing he’s already said too much. “Like no one. Like I said, it’s none of your business. Please get out.”

“Fine.” Jason stands up. “Just… talk to me, okay, Perce?”

“Yeah, whatever…”

Jason looks at him for a moment longer before walking out, shutting the door softly behind him.

Percy sighs, tossing the book on the floor, finally alone again. Unbuttoning his pants and pulling them and his boxers down brings about a whole new wave of emotions. The cool air hitting his bare skin makes him shiver with anticipation, and the removal of his clothing alone brings back unwanted memories.

_Those eyes._

_So bright and so breathtaking._

Percy remembers what it was like to have those startlingly blue eyes above him, staring, penetrating his soul. What a terrible word to use, Percy thinks, considering his soul hadn’t been the only thing penetrated that night.

_Hands all over his body._

_So cold, so harsh, so quick._

As Percy’s hand slips around his cock, he hates the fact that he remembers just how it had felt when that huge, deft, and oh so obviously experienced hand had been there instead, bringing Percy towards his release. Percy pauses to pull his shirt over his head, moaning as it brushes a sensitive spot on his neck that had been visited so many times that night.

It seems so long ago, five years, and Percy sometimes finds it odd that he remembers every touch and every sensation from that single experience. On his wiser days, he figures it might have something to do with it being scarring. Unexpected. Unwanted.

He was so young.

And he was the only child in bed that night.

Which was, of course, the main reason he’d never told anyone. Forget the fact that he’d ever been taken advantage of at all, but the fact that he was only twelve? What would people think?

It was awful, so filthy, and Percy was only more disgusted with himself in times like these.

The prospect of jacking off to memories of the night his innocence was stolen from him is the sickest thing Percy thinks he’s ever done. But this isn’t the first time, and he knows it won’t be the last either.

Percy’s hand goes back to his dick, pumping it slowly in hopes that the difference in pace will help to quell the thoughts of the fast and rough evening five years ago.

It doesn’t.

_“This is your first time, isn’t it?”_

_“Obviously.”_

_“How fun.”_

Percy picks up his pace. He wants it to end. He needs it to end.

He pictures that smirk hovering over him, the smug look of a winner. Percy had never thought of himself as something to be won, but when he looks back on it now, years later, he realizes it wasn’t just that he’d won Percy. It was that he’d known they’d have their falling out soon once the truth of his betrayal came out and that Percy would have to live with these intimate memories of one of the people he hated most for the rest of his life.

It was sick and sadistic.

Percy hates that it worked.

He pumps himself faster, his other hand gripping the sheets beside him tightly.

_“I- I can’t…”_

_“Deal with it.”_

_The cool, soft sheets have never felt more uncomfortable._

Faster, he has to go faster.

 _“No one else can ever see you like this. A writhing, moaning mess, covered in another boy’s jizz…_ My _jizz… Gorgeous, Percy. Gorgeous. And you’re all mine like this.”_

Percy just wants it to finish already. It’s too much.

_“Promise you’ll never forget how good I made you feel tonight?”_

Percy almost laughs as that question comes back to him. Good? He felt nauseated, being thrown down, exposed against his will, and having his heart and soul ripped apart bit by bit.

_“I know you’re into me, Perce. It’s obvious. I understand, and this is me showing you it’s mutual.”_

Percy hadn’t even fallen for that when he was twelve, even while he was being pounded into and trying his hardest not to cry. It was obviously wrong and fucked up to kid-Percy, so naturally it had to of been to the seventeen-year-old as well. There were no feelings between them that night, and they both knew it.

_“You’re close. I can tell.”_

 

 

Percy closes his eyes as he senses his climax approaching.

“L-Luke..! Fuck!” he half-yells, half-moans out as he comes hard, harder than he ever has.

_“Perce, that was… hot.”_

Percy scowled. “Fuck you.”

_“Forgive me, I’ve gotta go. I had a great time.”_

_Alone._

“Jesus Christ,” Percy whines as he takes in the sight of the fresh white stains on his blue sheets. He pulls his pants back on and strips the sheets off his bed. When he walks out of his room, intending on taking the sheets to be washed, he runs into Jason right outside of his door. “What the hell?”

“Sorry,” is all the answer Jason provides him with.

“Were you right out here the whole time?” Percy asks, narrowing his eyes at Jason.

“I didn’t mean to listen, it’s just… I was worried about you. You were acting really weird before I left Percy…”

“So you just stood out here and listen to me jack off? What the fuck?”

“I didn’t even know what you were doing at first!” Jason cries, looking clearly ashamed of himself.

“You should’ve left once you realized.”

“I don’t know why I didn’t, I’m sorry… It’s just, ah… Shit, never mind.”

“It’s just what?”

“I could’ve help, y’know.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I- nothing.”

“You could’ve… helped? Helped me get off, when you look freakily like the guy who raped me? Help me feel dirty and sick?”

“Oh my God, Perce… He… you… Who the hell did that to you?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. He’d already dead. I guess he really was a hero in the end, just like I always knew he was before… y’know.”

“Are you okay?” Jason asks, brushing a hand across Percy’s cheek.

“I’m fine. It was years ago. I can deal with it on my own, just like I’ve been doing,” Percy says, shrugging and taking a step forward to try to walk away. Jason stops him with a hand on his arm.

“You don’t have to keep anything like this from me, Percy. I’m always there for you, even if me not being there could actually help the situation,” he says, chuckling at the irony.

“I know, Jason. I know,” Percy says lamely, walking off without another word.

 

Later, as Jason sits in the kitchen with Annabeth, he asks,

“So, who’s Luke?”

Annabeth narrows her eyes suspiciously, but answers nonetheless. “A child of Hermes a few years older than us that went to Camp Half-Blood. He was a traitor, became the vessel for Kronos. He sacrificed himself to kill Kronos two years ago. Why?”

“How much older?”

“Four or five years. Why are you asking about him?”

“No reason.” Jason has a good feeling Annabeth doesn’t know what he recently learned. In fact, she’s probably one of the last people Percy would ever tell.

“There’s obviously a reason,” Annabeth states, her eyes narrowing further.

“Percy mentioned his name, is all. Didn’t elaborate.” Jason figures that’s reasonable enough to quell Annabeth’s suspicion that he knows something she doesn’t. Which he does, he supposes.

Then he has a thought. _Does Annabeth know her boyfriend jacks off while thinking about a dead guy?_ How awkward.

“Okay.”

 

Later that night, Jason goes back to Percy’s room again. Percy lets him in after a brief waiting period, shirtless and messy-haired. He must’ve already been in bed.

“What do you want?” Percy asks, his voice showing his exhaustion.

“I was thinking… It might help. If you experience it with someone else, it could help you to move on. New memories. Good memories. Y’know?” Jason babbles.

Percy sighs. “You want to fuck?”

“I mean-” Jason begins, but is cut off by Percy dragging him inside his room and shutting the door behind him.

“Look, I’m really tired, so if you think we should do it let’s get on with it.”

Jason’s eyes widen. He hadn’t expected Percy to actually go along with this.

Percy takes off his pants and his boxers, standing fully naked in front of Jason, and he isn’t even shy about it. Jason does the same, his heart beating in his chest. He’s never realized until now how astonishingly beautiful Percy actually is. He has to catch himself before he delves too far into that thought, reminding himself that this isn’t about them. This is about Luke.

As Percy drags Jason to his bed, pulls Jason on top of him, Jason tries to imagine what this must really be like for his friend. Percy said he physically reminds him of Luke, the boy who took advantage of him, so why would he actually agree to this? Jason knows it must be hard for Percy, but that thought does only so much to deter Jason from proceeding.

Jason tries to get through the necessary steps of preparation quickly, as quick as he can to accommodate to Percy’s various levels of discomfort. He understands it’s been years since the Luke incident, and he doubts Percy’s been on the bottom of any other sexual encounter since.

When he pushes his dick in, Jason takes note of the tears starting to form in Percy’s beautiful, beautiful blue-green eyes. When they make eye-contact, Percy lets out an outright sob that he’s clearly been holding in.

“Perce-” Jason starts to say, before Percy cuts him off.

“D-don’t, just… just _move_.”

Jason looks away and does as he’s told. In and out, in and out as he tries to ignore the fact that Percy is crying while he’s fucking him. As much as he thinks he should just stop, Jason doesn’t. He’s not quite sure why.

Jason goes slow, thinking it might help to differentiate this time and Percy’s last time in any way he can. He does as such, until Percy sobs out,

“Go f-faster.”

“Are you sure?”

“ _Please._ ”

Jason bites his lip, feeling his cock get impossibly harder at hearing Percy begging him. And then, he understands why he hasn’t stopped and just let Percy go and forget this horrible, horrible thing ever happened.

He wants this. Percy, he wants Percy. He wants to be able to have Percy like this all the time, whenever he wishes. The thought makes Jason feel sick. He knows they shouldn’t even be doing this. They both have girlfriends, anyway, and Percy only agreed because Jason looks like someone from his past. Percy doesn’t want Jason like Jason now knows he wants Percy. Jason feels something deep in his stomach, and he belatedly realizes it’s disgust. Disgust held for himself.

When Jason picks up his pace and maintains it for several minutes, he feels his climax approaching and tries to be relieved, even though really he wishes it would come later. He knows he’ll never get to have Percy under him like again, and he hates himself for being disheartened by that fact.

“P-Perce…” he stutters out, his eyes locking onto Percy’s teary ones.

Jason realizes Percy’s been jacking himself off when he sees his eyes shut below him and hears Percy moan out,

“Fuck, L-Luke!” as he comes on their chests.

And hell, if that doesn’t feel like a slap to the face to Jason.

Percy’s eyes snap open mid-climax and make contact with Jason’s. “J-Jase, I… Fuck…”

The moment he hears his name fall from Percy’s lips, Jason comes.

“Shit, Perce…”

Once Jason pulls out and falls down beside Percy, they both wait a moment and start talking at the same time.

“Jase, I-”

“Perce, I-”

They both stop, and awkwardly chuckle.

“You first,” Jason says.

“I’m sorry I cried like a little bitch, it’s just- It’s just I couldn’t stop the memories and it’s not you, I mean… You’re really great, that was hot, or y’know it would’ve been if I didn’t start crying-”

“Percy, I’m gonna stop you there. Don’t apologize, this was a bad idea in the first place. _I’m_ sorry. It’s my fault, I don’t know why I thought it would help, that was stupid. I-”

And because they can’t stop cutting each other off, Percy stops him by kissing him. Jason knows he shouldn’t, but he kisses back and pulls him closer. Percy rolls on top of him, straddling him at the waist while they continue to kiss. Jason starts to protest when Percy pulls back a minute later, but in the end he’s okay with it. He gasps when Percy unexpectedly lifts himself up and then lowers himself onto Jason’s already hard again cock.

“Oh my God…” Jason mumbles as Percy rocks back and forth on top of him.

Jason never knew he could be as turned on as he as he watches Percy riding him, moving up and down with his hands splayed on Jason’s chest for leverage.

“J-Jason…”

“Perce, I… I wish I could have you like this all the time.” And there it is. Jason doesn’t know why he says it, but he does.

“I’d say yes, but… There’s too much going on, with the quest. It’s a wonder we have tonight at all,” Percy replies, and Jason doesn’t know how he can speak so smoothly right now.

“What about Annabeth..?”

“What about Piper?”

“Touché.”

“We have tonight, but that’s it.”

“Why do you want to keep going? You were crying during the first time.”

Percy looks down at him, eyes soft. “B-because you’re not him, and I k-know it. He fucked me because he wanted m-my body, you f-fucked me because you wanted to h-help me.” Jason smiles at the words, happy that Percy is okay with this after all, but simultaneously gets closer to coming hard again due to Percy’s stuttering and shallow breath, knowing it’s because Jason’s dick is in him.

“I-I’m close, Perce,” Jason says.

“Okay.”

Just a moment later, Jason comes again. He doesn’t know why Percy’s okay with him coming inside of him twice, but he’s not complaining because it’s hot.

Jason sighs and says, “Sit back down. Against the headboard.”

Percy obliges with a raised eyebrow. Jason winks at him and settles himself in between Percy’s legs. He keeps eye-contact with Percy as he lowers his lips around his friend’s dick. He revels in the way Percy’s eyes widen before fluttering shut in pleasure as Jason slowly bobs his head up and down, his hands holding on at the base of Percy’s dick.

“Shit, Jase… You’re so… Oh…”

Jason isn’t even surprised when he feels himself grow hard again just from listening to Percy’s mumbling. He’s never done this before, blown a guy, but he’s been blown enough to know what feels good and he knows Percy’s enjoying it so he figures he’s doing it right.

Soon enough, Percy says, “I’m about to- to-” and promptly comes in Jason’s mouth. Jason hopes for the best as he swallows it, and doesn’t end up regretting it because of the look on Percy’s face as he does so. When it’s over, Jason pulls his mouth off and wipes the spit and cum off his lips.

“That was… _amazing_ ,” Percy tells him, pulling him up to kiss him again. They stay in a heated embrace for several minutes before Percy pulls back and says, “You’re hard again.”

“So are you.”

“I suppose that’s true.”

“Can you…” Jason trails off.

“Can I..?”

“Fuck me.”

“If you want me to.”

“I do.”

“Okay,” Percy says simply, flipping them so that Jason’s beneath him again. It’s obvious by the immediate discomfort that flashes across Jason’s face when Percy sticks a finger in him that he’s never been fucked, or even tried to finger himself like Percy has. Percy makes sure to take his time, knowing it’ll take longer than it took for Jason to get him ready. Eventually after he’s stuck three fingers in, Jason says,

“Do it.”

Percy does it.

“Fucking hell,” Jason curses immediately, the pain too intense.

“It’ll get better.” It will. Percy knows it will.

Jason grabs Percy’s hands with his own and intertwines their fingers. He needs this, he needs support right now. Jason doesn’t think he’d ever be okay with this if it weren’t Percy pushing into him.

Percy leans down to kiss him, trying to distract him from the pain as much as he can as he pushes all the way in. This is the part of the night that proves most prominently to Percy that this is, in fact, Jason and not Luke that he’s in bed with tonight. There’s no way Luke would’ve ever let him fuck him, much less asked him to.

Jason moves his head away and says, “Y-you can m-move.” His breath hitches in his throat as Percy pulls back out and pushes back in.

“P-please don’t go faster. Just s-stay slow. Stay like this,” Jason asks. Percy nods and keeps the same slow, smooth pace until they’re both getting their third release together, their hands still clasped together as he pulls out and lays against Jason’s side. He places his head on Jason’s chest and traces the lines of abs and pecs softly. Jason wraps his arm around Percy’s shoulders and has a distant thought that he never wants to let go.

“Can you stay here tonight?” Percy asks.

How can Jason refuse? He’ll hold onto tonight for forever, and he needs it to last as long as possible. Tonight, they can hold each other and make love and give each other everything, but when morning comes they’ll have to go back to their friends, to Annabeth and Piper.

“Of course.”

Jason only wanted to help Percy move on from Luke. Forget, if only for one night. It seems he has succeeded, but that doesn’t make it any better and they both know it.

Now, Percy supposes, he’ll have to move on from Jason as well.

 

**FIN.**


End file.
